AFTER 23. How Many?

AFTER

23. HOW MANY?

A new acquaintance,

We chat, getting to know,

What do you do,

Where do you live,

And if the getting to know

Gets to knowing more,

It drifts to relationships, family

And, inevitably,

How many children do you have?

And, in this ambling conversation,

For the first time, I hesitate,

Consider honesty,

Two paths before me.

Path 1. We had four children.

And maybe it stops there, but what if it meanders on?

Well, the eldest is studying again,

Next lives in London, blah,

My son an apprentice, blah, blah

And Clara, the youngest... ah... she died.

Well, that’s a conversation stopper.

So then there must be

Oh, I’m sorry, how terrible!

It’s alright, yes terrible, but, blah, blah.

I would be wiser to take the other road.

Path 2. Three children,

Sophie is…, Rose is…, Sam is…

Blah blah

And don’t mention Clara,

Don’t mention the dead one.

And right there, there’s a little betrayal.

To save some awkwardness

I’m pretending she never existed.

Or, at least, I don’t mention her

And ache a little

That I’m leaving her out of my story.

So that is why,

Getting to know someone new,

At a certain point in the conversation

I hesitate.

19^th March 2013