ENDING 12. Cool Down Clara

ENDING

12. COOL DOWN CLARA

At home, Clara’s temperature is rising,

Sign of infection, danger.

If it continues must dash to hospital

For injections of antibiotics, close monitoring.

“Let’s try to cool you down, Clara.”

I put on the coolest music I know,

Modern Jazz Quartet, “Angel Eyes”,

Milt Jackson’s vibes like ice cubes

Plop, plop, clink,

So cool, serene.

“Lie down Clara.”

I massage her feet,

We talk of snow, ice, winter.

For a little while

We were still, calm,

A few beautiful moments with my daughter.

But, the song finished,

Her temperature continued to rise,

Off to hospital again.

13 November 2010

MIDDLE 11. Prognosis

11. PROGNOSIS

Dr Death gave us

The news.

Then we had to tell Clara.

Dr Death, Jill and I

Came to Clara’s room

Told her

The treatments aren’t working,

Medically, no more can be done.

“Get out” Clara snaps,

Furious

“Get out, leave me alone!”

We stepped out, sheepish,

Closed the door,

Left her to…what?

What was she doing?

After a decent interval

We returned, Jill and I.

She was calmer, quiet

Just sad. 

Miserably we discussed details:

The hospital will help

With all medication

To keep her comfortable

But will no longer try

To kill the cancer.

No more chemotherapy,

No more radiation.

(No more

Pumping poisons into her

Well, that’s a relief)

We reassured Clara,

Reassured ourselves,

We’ll keep trying

All possible alternative therapies,

We’ll keep trying.

But

It’s not been a good day.

May 2012