MIDDLE
6. HOW ARE YOU?
Clara has
All purpose answer.
Must have worked it out
Sometime in early months
Has kept on using it all through.
Because when someone asks
“How are you?”
What can you say?
“Well, I’m dying of cancer,
Chemo makes me sick,
Lost my hair,
There’s a tube going into my side,
They prick me with needles every day,
I’m scared of dying (but I’m being brave),
And people keep asking me,
Worried, afraid,
‘How are you?’
Makes me mad,
What can I say, but
…Not too bad.
They’ll miss me so
Mum and dad,
And all those who love me
But, not too bad.”
She says it with weary smile
Hint of tears,
Touch of exasperation too
That she should be asked yet again
By another visitor,
Smiling fiercely,
“How are you?”
But Clara has compassion,
Knows the asker cares
Is worried, perhaps scared as well.
Scared by death, their own and Clara’s.
We all die anyway
But Clara lives every day knowing
Her time may come much sooner than for most.
An honest answer though,
She’s not going to say
“I’m fine, I’m good!”- wouldn’t be true.
But she doesn’t want to make
This kind visitor uncomfortable, sad,
So, a little smile and
“Not too bad.”
With it too,
Brightness and delight.
“Well, I’m alive and breathing,
Cherishing each precious
Moment that I’ve had
And it’s good to see you, so,
Not too bad.”
Months later now
Clara has taught me what to do,
When someone asks me
“How are you?”
Had a bugger of a day
Car had a flat
Was late for work
But, not too bad
Broke my tooth on crusty bread
Stupid driver made me mad
Upset by that thing you said
But, well, not too bad.
One thousand disasters
I have had
But gee, I’m still alive
I’m not too bad.
You lost your daughter,
Are you feeling sad?
What can I say, but
“Not too bad.”
